Join Gina in New Orleans for CHADD: 11/12-14/15

Now's your chance—to learn in two-three days an amazing amount about ADHD and meet hundreds of other people on this journey. I invite you to join me and many other ADHD experts in New Orleans, Nov. 12-14, 2015, for the CHADD International Conference.

There is something for everyone: parents, educators, adults, and mental-health professionals. Plus, the conference hotel (Hyatt Regency) is very close to the French Quarter and the riverfront. I'd love to see you there!

As in years past, I will be presenting, this time on Saturday, 10:30 am. My topic will be: Adult ADHD Symptoms or Poor Coping Skills? Clarifying the Confusion with Success Strategies. 

Here's a quick summary of my talk:

Most adults with ADHD struggle for decades before being diagnosed. Consequently, many have developed poor coping skills and distorted explanations of their challenges.

In parallel fashion, their loved ones—spouses, intimate partners, siblings, and parents—typically develop their own dysfunctional patterns in reaction to dealing with poorly managed ADHD-related behaviors in the relationship and household. It all makes for quite the “roller coaster.”

Even when ADHD is identified, the confusion continues. Symptoms are variable and lifelong adaptations even more variable. Loved ones also span the spectrum of human strengths and foibles.

How then do individuals with ADHD and their loved ones find their footing as they navigate a mental healthcare system that is seldom "ADHD-friendly"?

How do they distinguish symptoms from counterproductive habits and then appropriately target evidence-based strategies?

See you there, and Laissez le Bontemps Roulez!

—Gina Pera

Stop—And Smell the Gardenia

“Ohhhh, smell this gardenia,” I said to my husband, lifting a freshly picked specimen to his face. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. SniffSniffSniff. His quick succession of inhalations over the ivory-petaled flower produced no reaction. Continuing at that pace, however, he'd soon be hyperventilating.

What a shame, that he couldn’t partake in the pleasure of the rich fragrance, a fond remembrance of my growing up in the South. In the summers, the scent of gardenias—along with their larger cousins, the magnolia tree flowers—would hang in the warmly humid air. It was practically the only good thing to come from that oppressive heat; our house had only spotty air-conditioning back then.

That little gardenia bush had produced nothing but leafy growth for the past eight years. They are notoriously finicky bloomers in the Bay Area, I've been told. And, this summer marked the first success: a constant profusion of velvety blossoms against shiny, deep-green foliage. The bush is pictured here, along with a metal goat stuck in the rose pot behind it. It is fitting for this post, because my husband’s nickname is Dr. Goat. Here, the goat looks like he might eat the gardenias, fine-smelling or not.

This wasn’t the first time when my husband could not share my appreciation of scented flowers. “I must have blown out my olfactory receptors in the lab,” he always says, speaking of his time spent studying to become a biologist and dealing with various chemicals during experiments in the lab.

Q & A on Adult ADHD: What Is Personality, What Are Symptoms?

Continuing with last month's theme of sharing questions and my answers from CHADD's Ask the Expert chat, here is a two-part question from a reader named Matt. 


I welcome your responses to both Matt's questions and my answers.

—Gina Pera

1. How do you separate ADHD from the person? Because it is neurological, it just doesn't seem possible. It would be like separating sexual orientation from a person.

Hi Matt,

Boy, that’s a question for the philosophers! But I’ll give it a try. It’s true that, especially with late-diagnosis adult ADHD, you often hear comments such as “I don’t know if I have ADHD or if I am ADHD.”

A 30-something man with ADHD recently told me that his personality is the Life of the Party. But, I asked him, is that really his personality? Or, could it be a behavior developed many years ago because he was unable to follow the many conversational threads at a party? 

The "Invisible Ropes" of Adult ADHD, And How A Special Type of Therapy Can Help Set You Free

Introduction:  When I'm asked about the best kind of therapy for Adult ADHD, I explain that the research thus far points to cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), in combination with medication.  Then I emphasize a critical point: not just any CBT but that with a special focus on ADHD. 

      Standard CBT that does not acknowledge the neurobiological role of ADHD can be counter-productive, at best.  How do I know this?  Because I listen to the top experts who make this study and practice their life's work. 

      I'm pleased to offer a guest essay this month from one of these top experts: J. Russell Ramsay, psychologist and co-director at the Adult ADHD Clinic at the University of Pennsylvania. (Please see bio at the end of this post).  In preparing my talk for the upcoming CHADD 22nd International Conference on ADHD ("Adult ADHD Symptoms or Poor Coping Skills?"), I relied heavily on the book he co-authored with Dr. Anthony Rostain (see below).  

      The conference will be held in Atlanta this year, Nov. 11-13.  I cannot overemphasize the wealth of knowledge, validation, and support to be gained at this conference. If there's a possibility that you can attend, try your hardest to get there!  Sign up by September 15, and receive the early-bird discount!   --Gina Pera

By J. Russell Ramsay, Ph.D.

Circus elephants are trained while secured with ropes until they are subdued. Trainers then teach them to perform tricks for audiences without the use of restraints. No less powerful than when they were in the wild, these elephants are held back by the invisible ropes of their training.

      Growing up with ADHD, particularly when it has gone undiagnosed until adulthood, makes it very likely that adults with ADHD have encountered their own “ropes” in life, such as academic trauma, ongoing troubles handling the demands of daily life, or hurtful criticisms made by others. Although their circumstances may change in their adult lives, these experiences may have trained them to hold negative attitudes about themselves and their future.

John and Abby: Solving the "Problem with No Name"

This July 4, my husband and I celebrated our 12th anniversary.  Compared to couples married 30, 40 or even the 50 years of my parents' marriage, 12 years is hardly remarkable unless you figure in unrecognized ADHD.

     As I joked to my friends on Facebook: "We can credit the fact that we're still married—and happily so—to equal parts brutal honesty, teeth-gnashing, affection, shared interests, sense of humor, and inertia."  

     Mostly, though, we can credit keen ADHD awareness. To see our wedding photo and read my interview with a reporter from Health.com, click here. (Notice in the photo that I am clearly in the dripline of the double-umbrella my new husband is holding; let's just say that is rather symbolic of the early days of our marriage, when his ADHD was flying well beneath the radar screen yet still having an impact.)

     In many ways, we are like the couple whose story I share below, John and Abby, excerpted from Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?:

Thirty years ago, at age 13, John set his sights on becoming a computer scientist. Despite almost flunking out of high school, he went on to earn his doctorate. It required Herculean effort, though, and tanks of ulcer-inducing coffee, not to mention a tunnel-vision focus that eclipsed a social life and other healthy habits. [Note: That's a caffeine IV in the illustration at left.]

      Sure, John noticed that other students, many less intelligent than he, didn’t suffer concentration problems like his. But he thought it was just his nature, something unchangeable. Upon finally leaving academia’s structure for the business environment, John found himself constantly on the outs with managers for missed deadlines, miscommunications, and an uncooperative attitude.   

When a "Good News" Diagnosis Means "Bad News" for the Relationship, Pt. I

We often call ADHD a "good news" diagnosis. Why? Because it offers not only a long-elusive rational explanation for vexing behavior but also effective treatment strategies.  

So, why does a "good news" diagnosis sometimes mean "bad news" for the relationship. That's the topic of this two-part post.

     The reasons run the gamut—and are as complex as the individuals involved and their history together. Let's begin with an e-mail sent to me by a reader.  His situation illustrates a very common example of the ADHD diagnosis and treatment creating new challenges even as it resolves old ones. 

Jack Celebrates His Success: 

Why Can't His Wife? 

Consider Jack, 42, married 12 years and diagnosed nine months ago:

It took about six months for me to get on board with medication, and the doc and I haven't worked out all the kinks yet in that regard. 

But let's put it this way: Before I started taking medication, I was often criticized for being hyper, loud, disorganized and easily distracted. Since the medication, I hear myself as I sound to others and so have much more sensitivity to my own volume. 

I am also now more aware of my tendency to rant. A good argument used to be like food to me.  Now, I don't have to be in the ring with every discussion, and I can focus normally on a discussion that I am engaged in.   

     
So, between medication and therapy, I feel my approach to life has changed dramatically.  I'm also better organized, more focused, and doing better at work.  But has all this helped my marriage?  That's the big surprise. The situation at home has actually gotten worse in many respects.