tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post3872624235360119829..comments2024-02-25T02:44:23.243-08:00Comments on You and Me — and Adult ADHD: ADHD and Sex: No Shame, No BlameGina Perahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08617490362195568500noreply@blogger.comBlogger187125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-78267024767038346482020-12-09T02:07:32.177-08:002020-12-09T02:07:32.177-08:00I was married for 16 years to a loving mother and ...I was married for 16 years to a loving mother and wife. We had 2 children together who are now 11 & 13. I reconnected with an old girlfriend from college on Facebook and we began an affair and I left my wife. The woman I had an affair with is a wonderful woman and I love her too and our kids had begun accepting the situation and my wife has kind of moved on, but not in love with the man she SIMON PATCHINhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09214951407162113790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-5717456205315064082017-11-09T04:50:29.363-08:002017-11-09T04:50:29.363-08:00I feel you, im pretty much in the same boat. Reall...I feel you, im pretty much in the same boat. Really sux ....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-65542645829317509082017-11-08T04:35:04.714-08:002017-11-08T04:35:04.714-08:00it must be an ADD thing because my partner does ex...it must be an ADD thing because my partner does exactly the same. I nearly feel like killing him. Ive had to snopp to find out a lot of the things he does and boy he gets mad when I confront him! He just keeps doing it sadly, and its really killing me. So I can totally empathise with youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-55816039329960966952017-11-08T04:06:52.618-08:002017-11-08T04:06:52.618-08:00OMG I totally feel all you guys here. My partner i...OMG I totally feel all you guys here. My partner is exactly the same. Swept me off my feet initially..pursued me hard and romanced me off my feet. i was in heaven! Sex nearly every day, he made an effort as well to please me. I thought Id found my dream man. It shouldve raised alarm bells that hed only had two relationships and they lasted about a year. Well at the year mark he started messagingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-62970145303524625922017-07-15T17:42:11.602-07:002017-07-15T17:42:11.602-07:00YES. I just started dealing with this issue and it...YES. I just started dealing with this issue and it feels like he doesn't give a shit. He hooked me into being his girlfriend and now I've been abandoned in hell. It took him two weeks to get bored of sex with me; I guess I'm not as attractive as he pretended I was to get me into bed. What a fool I am, to think anyone could love me. But he still wants to have a monogamous relationship Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-20590776061232936622016-11-06T17:50:11.489-08:002016-11-06T17:50:11.489-08:00Premature ejaculation is a significant concern for...Premature ejaculation is a significant concern for men, even for their partners, because of the decreased physical pleasure and mental connection that healthy sex provides for both partners.Jimhttp://www.jimanson.com/vigrx-plus-review-the-quintessential-male-enhancement-supplement.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-55514861000704707112016-06-20T09:34:52.408-07:002016-06-20T09:34:52.408-07:00Hi there,
From what you describe, those are class...Hi there,<br /><br />From what you describe, those are classic ADHD-fueled impediments to sexual intimacy. The good news? Treatment might help with all of these symptoms, if you're interested.<br />Good luck!<br />gGina Perahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08617490362195568500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-84767938615885627612016-06-16T19:11:17.343-07:002016-06-16T19:11:17.343-07:00I am a woman with inattentive-type ADD and WOW, th...I am a woman with inattentive-type ADD and WOW, this explains a lot! "Low initiation & motivation", "The boredom factor", and "Hypersensitivity to sensory stimulation" all resonate very strongly with me! I have often wondered what's wrong with me because I have sexual fantasies but when it comes to reality I never initiate and am bored by the act itself. OnAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-7362395322791066482016-04-24T12:42:40.808-07:002016-04-24T12:42:40.808-07:00Very interesting self-observations.
I would encou...Very interesting self-observations.<br /><br />I would encourage you to look beyond Adderall, which could actually be exacerbating your symptoms. Here my a blog post on the topic (the most popular post, for years, on my other blog):<br /><br />http://adhdrollercoaster.org/adhd-news-and-research/the-tragic-truth-of-adderal-or-madderall/<br /><br />ADHD-related sleep disorders also require Gina Perahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08617490362195568500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-41345701058080490702016-04-24T12:39:00.295-07:002016-04-24T12:39:00.295-07:00Thanks for your comment. It adds to the body of co...Thanks for your comment. It adds to the body of comments on this important topic and will probably resonate for many others.<br /><br />I encourage you both to study up on ADHD. You could begin with my first book, which I wrote as a "one stop shopping" guide to understanding ADHD symptoms, the "emotional baggage" when ADHD has gone unrecognized, the impact on loved ones, and Gina Perahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08617490362195568500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-70307657287908693912016-04-24T12:37:06.095-07:002016-04-24T12:37:06.095-07:00Hi there,
I'm sorry that I'm only now see...Hi there,<br /><br />I'm sorry that I'm only now seeing your comment. The notification function failed.<br /><br />The type of therapist you are seeking is probably very rare indeed.<br /><br />Most ADHD specialists don't know much about PTSD.<br /><br />Most PTSD specialists, in my experience, over-emphasize ADHD to the exclusion of recognizing what might actually be ADHD symptoms Gina Perahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08617490362195568500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-10831475520615791892016-04-24T07:30:10.143-07:002016-04-24T07:30:10.143-07:00My husband loses his erection during sex. its like...My husband loses his erection during sex. its like boredom sets in and he becomes less aroused. or, he then decides in the middle of, he has to go brush his teeth. he also claims he is out of shape, and develops a cramp in his hips, ending in loss of erection. he has a hard time getting back into the moment. I eventually give up. and yes he has a few of the other classic signs of ADD, cant focus Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05133780024486316692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-80129027725162641502016-04-07T17:51:04.627-07:002016-04-07T17:51:04.627-07:00I've been diagnosed ADD for 20 years now. With...I've been diagnosed ADD for 20 years now. With the help of Adderall, exercise, organization, routine, and mindfulness therapy I have kept my brain functioning well enough to graduate college with A B.S. in Biology 3.7 GPA. Over the years I've made many observations to fine tune my brain for college performance. I became aware of my impulsiveness, noticing days where medication and all of Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-35007673223244081142016-04-03T22:06:25.383-07:002016-04-03T22:06:25.383-07:00It's a mine field. He has ADHD, had had a meth...It's a mine field. He has ADHD, had had a method addictions that intensifies sex, and a sex addiction to port and females. Omg it's an insanity ride. There isn't much difference now that he's sober because he didn't want to see the problem was him. Basically now there can be no porn, no images, no flirting, no looking, cold turkey approach. One slip and the whole cycle startsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-14234794332291868912016-02-01T07:16:52.341-08:002016-02-01T07:16:52.341-08:00Are there any therapists who are truly competent i...Are there any therapists who are truly competent in dealing with ADHD and PTSD from sexual abuse as children (both partners affected with both conditions in male/female relationship?)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-72478688146723769932016-01-20T04:30:58.133-08:002016-01-20T04:30:58.133-08:00At first i didn't had a problem with his ADHD ...At first i didn't had a problem with his ADHD , when he told me that he has it i was courius and i found your Book, it was very Informativ and helped me a lot. Now the Sex issue is a big problem in our relatinship , i can't belive my self that i am the one who is complaining about it , but i do. And it hurts me to see him suffer because of that.We had a good sexlife at first but the Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18320215209164188618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-39680392442834784472015-11-23T09:38:08.114-08:002015-11-23T09:38:08.114-08:00HI Adison,
Do you realize you posted this same ex...HI Adison,<br /><br />Do you realize you posted this same exact message almost a year ago? See above for my response.<br /><br />best,<br />GinaGina Perahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08617490362195568500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-64092031678014008262015-11-23T02:15:51.361-08:002015-11-23T02:15:51.361-08:00Wow, I was beginning to think I'm asexual... i...Wow, I was beginning to think I'm asexual... it could just be ADD! I have moderate to severe Primary Inattentive subtype, I don't take medication (downright refuse to actually), and I have a lot of difficulty becoming intimate with someone, but not for lack of want. More often then not, I really want to have sex, but I end up getting irrationally irritated when they touch my face or hold Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00154357402861078045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-26442586267637024552015-10-10T14:18:13.798-07:002015-10-10T14:18:13.798-07:00It is important to never underestimate the power o... It is important to never underestimate the power of a simple date. <a href="http://www.relationshipeguide.com/how-to-rekindle-sexual-intimacy-in-your-relationship/" rel="nofollow">how to rekindle a intimacy partner</a><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-53204257608011556982015-09-03T10:49:39.090-07:002015-09-03T10:49:39.090-07:00Hi James,
There's "high sex drive" ...Hi James,<br /><br />There's "high sex drive" and then there's "poorly managed ADHD symptoms." <br /><br />It's not always easy to know the difference. But when sex is used as an emotional coping strategy (that is, as an outlet for dealing with all emotions), that can be part of the problem. <br /><br />Also, medication can often help regulate the type of Gina Perahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08617490362195568500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-51771276405411911462015-08-12T07:42:36.066-07:002015-08-12T07:42:36.066-07:00I can deffenitly agree with the very high sex driv...I can deffenitly agree with the very high sex drive i am 35 and people think i am a kid just part of being a super hyper guy i lost my girlfriend cause of my adhd and sex drive it is very hard for people with adhd to keep a realationship.....i could be worng tho i have been in 3 realationships and had my heart broken every time last girl cheated on me for haveing a very high sex drive its just a Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05526969889518348893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-41384378030698123532015-06-17T08:09:05.850-07:002015-06-17T08:09:05.850-07:00Omg, YES. It makes me feel like he isn't even ...Omg, YES. It makes me feel like he isn't even attracted to me. He'd rather play video games than play with me. If he does initiate sex, it feels rushed and he doesn't attend to my needs. We do talk about it but, it's always a sensitive topic. I have ADD also and we are both medicated but, at opposite ends of the sex spectrum. I would initiate it more but, how do you initiate sex Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-7079659055310323742015-05-25T14:08:43.597-07:002015-05-25T14:08:43.597-07:00Dear Shirubakaze,
Wow, talk about tough choices!
...Dear Shirubakaze,<br /><br />Wow, talk about tough choices!<br /><br />But, you know, maybe it doesn't have to be such a tough choice.<br /><br />Primarily, I'm wondering if your Vyvanse dosage is too high. <br /><br />Generally speaking, it's really a problem when people with ADHD use the stimulant medications as "performance enhancers". (And I don't mean THAT kind of Gina Perahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08617490362195568500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-37946964291129575542015-05-22T10:14:29.786-07:002015-05-22T10:14:29.786-07:00Hello,
I'm a 23 year-old male attempting to ...Hello, <br /><br />I'm a 23 year-old male attempting to re-enter college. I've been diagnosed with aspergers since grade school. <br /><br />Growing up I had medication that made school a breeze. But as I got into middle school I began to notice that I could not make any meaningful relationships with people. I was always super calm. I could hold intelligent conversation with any adult andAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13070074525204143168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846377402285832776.post-14008480451314030712015-04-27T12:46:42.273-07:002015-04-27T12:46:42.273-07:00HI there,
Yes, many of the "truisms" ab...HI there,<br /><br />Yes, many of the "truisms" about ADHD and sexuality, proffered by self-described experts, aren't that .... true.<br /><br />My ADHD Partner Survey is the only systematic research into this. And I can assure you, what you describe is more common than people realize -- that it is the ADHD partners themselves who have "boring" routines around sex, with Gina Perahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08617490362195568500noreply@blogger.com